So this is what a meltdown feels like

Everything was going just fine until it hit crunch time for the article. I was finally feeling okay about the semester, I'd spent the long weekend productively getting ahead on all my work, my article was coming along nicely and then wham, my source doesn't call back. By the time I got back to the apartment it was almost 9 p.m. and still no email response from him. I frantically called Megan to see if it was okay if I didn't find that one tidbit of information, and she assured me that that piece of information wasn't as important as I thought it was, and that my article was going to be okay.

But the anxiety persisted, swelling like a thundercloud inside my chest. It took an hour and 20 minute long phone call with Mom to help calm me down and realize that much of this anxiety is probably due to the fact that I haven't really dived into the semester yet. I've got no assignments or grades to base anything off of, so therefore I'm still deathly afraid of everything. It's weird, I've never felt so much anxiety over school before. Sure, I've always been slightly apprehensive looking at the workload in front of me at the beginning of each semester, but it never really seemed like more than I could handle. But this semester, well, let me put it this way. In the middle of ranting to my mom I got so anxious I swear to God I really felt like my heart was going to give out. I felt like my insides were going to explode and wanted nothing more than to crawl into the empty space under my bed and not come out until December.

Seriously though, I need to go to bed, especially seeing as I need to be up bright and early at 6:20 in the morning and prepare to select my beat...aka the bane of my existence for the next four months.