Election Results and Last-Minute Jitters

Well, there you have it. More than a year of campaigning and the real thing has begun. Obama and Huckabee are rejoicing at passing their first tests, while Romney, Clinton and the others will have to figure out what they did wrong and how to fix it.

And just when things start to get interesting, just when I finally start getting really into the whole thing, I have to leave the country. Yup, the day has finally (almost) arrived. Twenty-four hours from now I will in the air headed for my Spanish adventure.

While I was glued to the T.V. watching CNN's coverage of the caucuses this evening, I realized that for all the other primaries, I'd have to resort to checking the Washington Post's home page when I wake up the next morning six time zones away. I'm going to be sleeping through our electoral process!

While I should be excited about this trip abroad finally beginning, I can't help but, well, not be. I was relieved to find that Supraja went through the exact same thing before she went to Paris last year. Every time I see a commercial about the People's Choice Awards airing later this month, or the movie 27 Dresses coming out in theaters, or even how the New Hampshire primaries are coming up on Tuesday, my first thought is Oh, I'm not going to be here for that. Not that I'd even watch the People's Choice Awards or go see 27 Dresses, but the idea that things are still going to be happening here while I'm gone is strange to me. I know that sounds like an arrogant thing to say, but it's true.

And I'm reverting back to my old habit (which I get completely from Mom) of worrying about things. Like, freak out type of worrying. Am I taking too many pairs of jeans? Will I have enough space to bring things back? Will I be able to find the gate for my connecting flight? Will I find some place to exchange my money? How will the cab ride to my host mother's house go?

I keep telling myself that things are always so much easier than you think they will be and I need to calm down and chill out. After all, didn't Supraja and Karen and Nancy survive abroad? Hell, didn't I myself survive going to Luxembourg alone last year?

But then it's also the same uncertainty of not knowing anyone and having to make friends all over again. Not that I even have a problem making friends or getting used to new things. It's strange, sometimes I think I operate in two very distinct mentalities. My mind constantly worries and analyzes and overanalyzes and tries to formulate a game plan for every situation, while my body just goes and does things. For example, when trying to talk to someone new, my mind will go over what to say initially to them, what their response might be, what I'll do if they say this and what I won't do if they say that, while my feet just walk over there, my mouth opens, and I introduce myself. As simple as that, I tell myself afterwards.

Finding my connecting flight in Paris last spring - I worried and worried about navigating an airport on my own, but once I got there, it was just as Papa said. You follow the signs and it's as easy as that. Seriously, no need to worry at all. Despite that, I still can't help but worry about everything. I know I shouldn't just wish time away and want it all to be over and for me to be settled in there, but I just can't help it.

Oh well, at least packing was a whole lot easier than I thought. I'd like to know how many points my blood pressure increased as I spent last semester worrying and worrying about how I'd pack for this adventure.